#haha

You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you," Garrett joked. ↗

— T.E. Sivec

#funny #garrett #haha #lol #parker

Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name. ↗

— Jasinda Wilder

#falling #falling-into-you #funny #haha #hilarious

Dan moans behind me, reminding her of the problem. She straightens in fear at the sound of his voice, peers over my shoulder at the chunk of bloody beef that is Dan Sikorsky. She looks slowly from him to me. “What did you do?” I duck my head, embarrassed. “I sort of lost my temper. ↗

— Jasinda Wilder

#falling #falling-into-you #funny #haha #jasinda-wilder

Your name. That’s all I want.” I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#funny #haha #holder #hope #hopeless

I stop stretching and face him, unwilling to back down from this visual standoff. I'm not going to let him perform his little Jedi mind tricks on me, no matter how much I wish I could perform them on him. He’s completely unreadable and even more unpredictable. It pisses me off. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#funny #haha #holder #hope #hopeless

I didn't want to miss out on a chance to congratulate you on your bouncing baby boy.” Garrett’s eyes trailed over to Milo who stood tall with an arrogant smile on his face next to his father. “I’m not sure on the protocol over here, though, is it customary to celebrate bastards?” Garrett’s comment hit the mark just like he knew it would. The smile was wiped from Milo’s face, and he stalked right up to Garrett and threw a punch at his jaw. ↗

— T.E. Sivec

#bastard #burn #garrett #haha #lol

Do you think the Bible is accurate? I mean, do you think it's real?" " I think Pastor Calvin is hot. In a fortysomething way. That pretty much sums up my religious conviction ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #vee #funny

Well, I said, needing to lighten the mood for him, "next time Kai tries to, um, bust your balls, you can give it right back to him, because he's got a girlfriend now, too. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#haha #lol #lol

Sorry. Sorry. Don't hit. Bitches be scary when they hit. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#haha #hit #j-lynn #jacob #jennifer-l-armentrout

Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively… But it wasn’t just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could ‘relate without getting close.’ For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. ↗

— Woody Allen

#experience