#grandma

I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof). 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#baseball-is-boring #ear #grandma #grandmother #loud

I would love to do top of pops as a grandma. ↗

— Tina Charles

#i #love #pops #top #would

Where did you meet?” he pressed on. I shrugged and considered a little rephrasing. “I was out for a run.” “From who?” I leaned back to take a long, very long, slow sip of that beer. Knox leaned forward. “I think we’re both bullsh*tting here, you ever play that card game?” “With my grandma, every Sunday after church. ↗

— Dannika Dark

#cards #church #fantasy #funny #grandma

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me. ↗

— Lord Chesterfield

#being pretty #brother #eat #grandma #hit

As a kid, my grandma would be dancing all the time. ↗

— Victor Cruz

#grandma #kid #time #would

I get so nervous on stage I can't help but talk. I try. I try telling my brain: stop sending words to the mouth. But I get nervous and turn into my grandma. Behind the eyes it's pure fear. I find it difficult to believe I'm going to be able to deliver. ↗

— Adele

#behind #believe #brain #deliver #difficult

My grandma passed away at 98 1/2 and I want to live to 100. I want to be able to do what I can do even at 100. ↗

— Gail Devers

#away #even #grandma #i #i can

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#careful #doing #driver #grandma #her

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck. ↗

— Allan Sherman

#cheated #could #grandma #luck #more

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandma #marriage #married #funny