#grandma

If Charlton Heston can have a constitutional right carry a rifle, why can't grandma have a constitutional right to health care? ↗

— Al Sharpton

#carry #charlton #constitutional #constitutional right #grandma

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck. ↗

— Allan Sherman

#cheated #could #grandma #luck #more

Man, after all my grandma put into me learning the piano, that was a hard day, telling her I was telling jokes for a living. ↗

— Jamie Foxx

#day #grandma #hard #hard day #her

To what shall we compare our fragile life? Life is like a speck of dust that alights upon a surface. It remains there, unmoved, until a draft threatens it. When a breeze comes it holds on till the last. Finally, a gust of wind comes and it is blown asunder. That is how fragile life is, like a speck of dust blown to nothingness. ↗

— Paul Worthington

#goodbye #grandma-s-secret #melted-dreams #wicked-turn #dreams

I heard about them Rangers on TV,” Grandma said. “I heard they get dogs pregnant.” -Grandma Mazur ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #humor

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humorous #humor

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#grandma #marriage #married #funny

Oh my!! How you've grown. Soon you'll be catching the Lord's balls. ↗

— Marjane Satrapi

#humor #memoir #young_adult #humor

The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#grandma-mazur #comedy

The groove is so mysterious. We're born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our eyes into stupid and cool. When we get it back, the world unifies around us, and both stupid and cool fall away. I am grateful to those who are keepers of the groove. The babies and the grandmas who hang on to it and help us remember when we forget that any kind of dancing is better than no dancing at all. ↗

— Lynda Barry

#babies #confidence #cool #dance #dancing