#gh

As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#doughnut #gluttony #humor #jace-wayland #humor

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #mortal-instruments #humor

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life. ↗

— Chris Colfer

#humor #sarcasm #humor

The main hallway of the Sternwood place was two stories high. Over the entrance doors, which would have let in a troop of Indian elephants, there was a broad stained-glass panel showing a knight in dark armor rescuing a lady who was tied to a tree and didn’t have any clothes on but some very long and convenient hair. The knight had pushed the vizor of his helmet back to be sociable, and he was fiddling with the knots on the ropes that tied the lady to the tree and not getting anywhere. I stood there and thought that if I lived in the house, I would sooner or later have to climb up there and help him. He didn’t seem to be really trying. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#efficiency #humor #knights #propriety #rescue

There's always a bit of suspense about the particular way in which a given school year will get off to a bad start. ↗

— Frank Portman

#humor #school #humor

For the record, I would like to point out that it is NOT being obsessive to memorize a boy's schedule so that you can accidentally bump into him. It is called being efficient. ↗

— Jess Rothenberg

#humor #love #young-adult #young-love #humor

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

Great idea," I said. "Call the police. Call the fucking police. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#fighting #frank-sinatra #humor #police #humor

If I hired one of the stock boys to chase me around the store with a licorice whip, I'd be thin by Christmas. ↗

— Jennette Fulda

#weight-loss #humor

When I write after dark", observed Cyril Connolly, "the shades of evening scatter their purple through my prose ↗

— Anne Fadiman

#essays #humor #night #humor