#gen

Intelligent men are dangerous. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#intelligent #men #humor

My first words, as I was being born [...] I looked up at my mother and said, 'that's the last time I'm going up one of those. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#female-genitalia #homosexuality #humor #mothers #humor

Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints. ↗

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

#genius #home-schooling #humor #school #humor

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#gender #humor #masculinity #romance #romance-novels

I hated that the soldier doll had my name. I mean, please. I didn't play with him much. He was another Christmas present from my clueless grandparents. One time when they were visiting, my grandpa asked me if G.I. Joe had been in any wars lately. I said, "No, but he and Ken got married last week." Every Christmas since then, my grandparents have sent me a check. ↗

— James Howe

#homosexuality #humor #humor

Intelligence is not found when you have a plan, rather it's measured when you have no clue what you're doing. ↗

— Charlie 'Gale'

#intelligence #humor

It can be exhausting eating a meal cooked by a man. With a woman, it's, Ho hum, pass the beans. A guy, you have to act like he just built the Taj Mahal. ↗

— Deb Caletti

#cooking #gender-stereotypes #humor #humor

Michael: Barzini will set me up through somebody close... that, supposedly, I won't suspect. Hagen: Somebody like me. Michael: You're Irish, they won't trust you. Hagen: I'm German-American. Michael: To them that's Irish. ↗

— Mario Puzo

#michael-corleone #the-godfather #tom-hagen #humor

There is no off position on the genius button. ↗

— CBS Inc. CBS News.

#humor #humor

I believe in evolution in the sense that a short-tempered man is the successor of a crybaby. ↗

— Criss Jami

#belief #clever #comparison #control #crying