#gas

I would far rather have two or three lilies of the valley gathered for me by a person I like, than the most expensive bouquet that could be bought! ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#elizabeth-gaskell #flowers #friends #lily-of-the-valley #love

I wish," I said. "I could save orgasms in a jar for when I need them, because I think I have a few extra. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#jars #orgasm-orgasms #sex #wish #humor

I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge ↗

— Preston and Child

#humor #pendergast #preston #still-life-with-crows #humor

This song goes out to anyone whose ever been told that how you think or feel is wrong. It goes out to everyone who’s ever felt alone. It goes out to anybody who’s fucking sick and tired of being told what to do. You are, the most important person in the world. Every single one of you. Don’t let anybody tell you differently, okay? ↗

— Alex Gaskarth

#all-time-low #alex

Where have you been?" I asked weakly. A few minutes ago I would have rather died than questioned him. Let him know I care. But I'm too sick to be strong, kick ass Rayne at the moment. "Vegas" he says. I raise an eyebrows. "Uh, okay. Win anything?" I can't believe he was off gambling as I lay dying. I mean, I know poker is hot and all, but couldn't he have waited a couple of days for that straight flush? "I got what I went for, if that's what you mean." "What, a lap dance?" He chuckes. "Even sick, you're still funny, Rayne. ↗

— Mari Mancusi

#dying #jareth #rayne #vegas #funny

A whizzpopper!" cried the BFG, beaming at her. "Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans? ↗

— Roald Dahl

#children-s #farting #friendly #gas #giant

The religion of orgasm: utilitarianism projected into sex life; efficiency versus indolence; coition reduced to an obstacle to be got past as quickly as possible in order to reach an ecstatic explosion, the only true goal of love-making and of the universe. ↗

— Milan Kundera

#sex #life

Oh, my Margaret--my Margaret! no one can tell what you are to me! Dead--cold as you lie there you are the only woman I ever loved! Oh, Margaret--Margaret! ↗

— Elizabeth Gaskell

#north-and-south #thornton #love

Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For only $19.95, I’ll deliver them to your woman any day of the year. But be sure to book early for Valentine’s Day.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #humor #love #naughty

'So this is it' he thought. After everything he had been through, after all the mysteries and fighting and fleeting moments of hope, they were just going to kill him with some sort of poison gas? Stupid, that was what this was. Stupid. He had battled Grievers and Cranks, survived a gunshot and infection. WICKED. They were the ones who'd saved him. And now they were just going to gas him to death? ↗

— Josh Dashner The Scorch Trials

#pointless-death #poisonous-gas #wicked #death