#gas

What?" I said, suspicion starting to rise in me. "When did they start coming after you?" "Was it— was it after the oil-slick Hummer crash?" the Gasman asked Iggy tentatively. My eyes widened. Oil-slick Hummer crash? Iggy rubbed his chin, thinking. "Or maybe it was more— after the bomb," the Gasman said in a low voice, looking down. "I think it was the bomb," Iggy agreed. "That definitely seemed to tick them off. ↗

— James Patterson

#gazzy #humor #iggy #maximum-ride #the-gasman

I told the waitress I wanted some coffee. She asked if I wanted leaded of unleaded, so I had to leave the restaurant, because I quit drinking gasoline years ago. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #gasoline #odd #waitress #funny

I know how to tell a woman I love her in seventeen syllables or less. I’m not talking about a haiku, I’m talking about grunts from an orgasm. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#haiku #orgasm #funny

The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. Extreme orgasm anxiety forms the basis of the general fear of life. ↗

— Wilhelm Reich

#fear-of-life #orgasm #pleasure #psychoanalysis #psychology

Smartass Disciple: Master, why should people love each other ? Master of Stupidity: Well, orgasm is felt better than kill each other. ↗

— Toba Beta

#love #orgasm #sex #truth #love

It is not against reason, said the Englishman, to prefer the destruction of the world to a scratch on your finger – how much easier to understand the same price for the gash in your soul. ↗

— Paul Hoffman

#cale #destruction #easier #easy #english-quote

We were orphans before we were ever the sons of these songs. ↗

— the gaslight anthem

#gaslight-anthem #rock-music #song #music

You don’t have to apologize,” Treston said. “I know where I work, I know what I do to make a living, and I know it’s not the most respectable place in Vegas. But frankly, Chad, if you don’t mind my saying so, I think you have a lot to learn about good manners.” Chad blinked. “What do you mean?” Treston reached for his wine glass, finished off what was left to wash down the last forkful of chewy escargot, and said, “All I’m saying is you haven’t stopped harping about that blond, and I have to tell you it’s getting a little tired now. Seriously, man. It’s a little insulting, too.” He leaned forward, looked into Chad’s eyes, and held his hand. “Look, I know how hard it is for selfish men like you to understand empathy. Lord knows I’ve been with enough of them. ↗

— Ryan Field

#rakes #the-vegas-shark #men

Gaspard eyed me cautiously. “I really can’t say,” he responded in his formal nineteenth-century style. Can’t, or won’t? I thought. ↗

— Amy Plum

#kate #until-i-die #style

I’d drive a thousand miles just to learn how to conserve gas and help save the environment. But that’s just who I am. I’m a thoughtful guy.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#conserve #drive #driving #environment #gas