#funny

The road to hell isn't paved with gold, it's paved with faith. Faith in a dollar that's backed by a belief that people have faith in other people's belief in it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dollar #faith #federal-reserve #funny #gold

I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'" Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #humor #powers #the-lost-hero #beauty

You gonna put on your big-girl panties and fight with the boys, now?” He looked over his shoulder as if he expected me to blush or something. “Who says I wear panties?” I was certain that he flushed red this time. Laughing, I left him shaking his head and went on inside to find the Kid. We had work to do. ↗

— Faith Hunter

#faith-hunter #funny #jane-yellowrock #smartass #faith

Maybe a friend is someone who wants your updates. Even if they're boring. Or sad. Or annoyingly cutesy. A friend says "Sign me up for your boring crap, yes indeed"--because he likes you anyways. He'll tolerate your junk ↗

— E. Lockhart

#funny #sweet #true #friendship

Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #richelle-mead #rose #family

What’s the best part of being in Hermes cabin? Connor: You are never lonely. I mean seriously, new kids are always coming in. So you always have someone to talk to. Travis: Or prank. Connor: Or pickpocket. One big happy family. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #hermes-cabin #family

Our family was nearly torn apart on several occasions by arguments started when the refrigerator door was open for what my father deemed as ‘too long. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #family

I believe the love shared between two people shouldn’t be secretly shared with a third. Not even if I am vacationing on the moon, and that third person is my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #funny

All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there. ↗

— Julia Marriott

#fancy #fun #funny #kids #laugh

Funny thing- Morgenstern's folk's were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor. ↗

— William Goldman

#family #funny #miracle-max #s-morgenstern #the-princess-bride