#funny

V-Day…if you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for “your loved one” I think it’s quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. It’s all artificial, and has nothing to do with real love. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

To Do Today, 1/17/08 1. Sit and think 2. Reach enlightenment 3. Feed the cats ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#enlightenment #funny #humor #think #to-do-list

Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. “Oh my God, what is THAT?” I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. “In my language, we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm.” “Oh my God,” Sam said again, and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. “It’s horribly cute.” He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#funny #love #shiver-maggie-stiefvater-space #funny

This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So I told them to roll over and go back to sleep. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#girlfriend #humor #neighbors #sex #funny

I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dead #fish #funny #humor #prostitutes

My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #dog #dogs #funny #girlfriend

Is that a stake, Bones, or are you just happy with my new dress?” “In this case, it’s a stake. You could always feel around for something more, though. See what comes up. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #funny #grave #halfway #funny

I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. ↗

— William Faulkner

#harsh #ironic #funny

Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fight #fight-quotes #fighting #fighting-quote #fighting-quotes

Are you a female dog?" "What?" Massie asked. "Why?" "Because you are acting like a real bitch! ↗

— Lisi Harrison

#clique #comebacks #dog #female #fun