#funny

My head’ll explode if I continue with this escapism. ↗

Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?" "Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it." "Kissed a couple of times," Percy said. Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #humor #kissing #lol #oh-my-god-percy

Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet." "You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed. He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals." I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared. "Oh, very funny!" I yelled. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#romance #funny

The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gender-stereotypes #men-and-women #funny

I guess it's true what they say. There are no straight men in the trenches." ~Jace ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #funny #humor #jace-wayland #misquoted

I didn't ask what you'd said about it," the frog snapped. "I asked what you're going to do. Nine times out of ten, talking is a way of avoiding doing things. ↗

— Patricia C. Wrede

#frog #funny #funny

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. ↗

— Billy Connolly

#always #army #does #go #i

Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#flirty #funny #funny

When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#door #figure #figure-out #funny #humor

I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited. ↗