#funny

Are you a female dog?" "What?" Massie asked. "Why?" "Because you are acting like a real bitch! ↗

— Lisi Harrison

#clique #comebacks #dog #female #fun

I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable. ↗

— Joel Coen

#characters #condescending #funny #funny thing #i

I want a billion people to know my name as well as they know their own. I want to clone myself to fame. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fame #funny #funny

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?" "Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it." "Kissed a couple of times," Percy said. Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #humor #kissing #lol #oh-my-god-percy

I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#excited #funny #name #ridiculous #funny

A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary.

 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #poem #poet #poetry

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny. ↗

— Dane Cook

#funny #make #say #tact #then

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. ↗

— Steven Wright

#country #cross #cross country #great #live

A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #love #suffocation #funny