#funny

At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I’ve earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you’re tickling me. You doona want to kill me, which is a good sign. Maybe this is your way of flirting? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ↗

— Elbert Hubbard

#alive #get #life #never #out

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap. "Ah," he said. "Must deactivate the security....Turn around, please." "What?" "Turn around, Claire. It's a secure password!" "You have GOT to be kidding." "Why ever would I joke about that? Please turn. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club! ↗

— Vanessa Hudgens

#efron #every #funny #girl #going

Ow, Todd? Ow? ↗

— Patrick Ness

#manchee #ow #todd #funny

She smirks."Are you attempting to stop me, little one?" "Excuse me? Did you just call me 'little one'? What are you? Like, four feet tall?" I ask. ↗

— Carrie Jones

#kinda-funny #sad #funny

I have a free couple of hours," I told him, walking toward my car, which was parked on the next block. "There's a very private, very secluded barn in Lookout Hill Park behind the carousel. I could be there in fifteen minutes." I heard the smile in his voice. "You want me bad. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-and-patch

When I started my program... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly. And it was funny, because when I was standing on the podium, it said exactly 10 p.m., and this whole hour had changed my life. ↗

— Sarah Hughes

#big #changed #clock #corner #exactly

Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.” “Maybe you should say that to Michael.” “Not funny, Eve,” Michael said. Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. “Little bit,” she said. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh. ↗

— D. L. Hughley

#desk #funny #got #how #i