#frosting

Liz asked me the other day what I thought about twice baked potatoes. How the fuck should I know? Was I supposed to be thinking about twice baked potatoes all this time? Is this where I went wrong? Are grown men supposed to have an opinion about twice baked potatoes? ↗

— Tara Sivec

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#futures-and-frosting #humor #marriage #tara-sivec #humor

I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to his pillow - Globs: piles of white chocolate covered, crushed potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel. I figured it would soften him up to the note I placed next to the box telling him if he left the toilet seat up one more time and my ass got an involuntary bath at six in the morning, I would put super glue on the head of his penis while he slept. I had even signed the note with a couple of Xs and Os. Who says romance is dead? ↗

— Tara Sivec

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#futures-and-frosting #tara-sivec #romantic

Delia was an overbearing cake with condescending frosting, and frankly, I was on a diet. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

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#diet #frosting #humor #metaphor #diet