#foot

They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter." Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. "I told you it tasted weird." Eddie shrugged. "Tasted okay to me. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #matchmaker #food

Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece. ↗

— Vladimir Nabokov

#footnotes #masterpiece #obscure #series #unfinished

I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #shoes #write #writing-a-book #funny

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind. ↗

— Frank Cottrell Boyce

#funny #moon #funny

I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?' The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #foot-in-mouth #funny #librarians #shane

The problem with winter sports is that -- follow me closely here -- they generally take place in winter. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #ice-fishing #ice-skating #skiing #snow-camping

The other day I went to the Huddle House. I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted to call some plays. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #huddle-house #humor #hungry #funny

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #humor

I lust love to play football. ↗

— Ray Nitschke

#i #love #lust #play #play football

The ball laughs, radiant, in the air. He brings her down, puts her to sleep, showers her with compliments, dances with her, and seeing such things never before seen his admirers pity their unborn grandchildren who will never see them. ↗

— Eduardo Hughes Galeano

#idol #inspiration #soccer #inspirational