#fart

Uh-oh,' said Gazzy, but Angel was so nauseated she didn't have time to leap to a safe distance, or grab a gas mask Bbbbbrrrrrrrttthhhhhhttttttt. 'Mother of God, no!' Total cried, doing a fast belly-crawl to the pool and throwing himself in. 'You said it wasn't your digestive system!' 'What was that?' Dylan asked. He winced and threw an arm oer his nose and mouth. ... 'Sorry,' Gazzy said miserably, but he couldn't help a tiny grin. Nudge was clawing at a stack of towels to cover her face. 'Nice one, Gaz,' said Iggy. ... 'Wait-that was Gazzy? Is that why you call him...Oh, crap,' Dylan said weakly. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #humor

A fart in the face is love. ↗

— James Kidd

#fart #farts #funny #love #silly

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged in only private--though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh. ↗

— Mark Twain

#farting #flatulence #masturbation #onanism #self-abuse

Do nothing because it is righteous or praiseworthy or noble to do so; do nothing because it seems good to do so; do only that which you must do and which you cannot do in any other way. ↗

— Ursula K. Le Guin

#noble

The barriers are not erected which can say to aspiring talents and industry, "Thus far and no farther." ↗

— Ludwig van Beethoven

#barriers #erected #far #farther #industry

The more consciously democratic Americans became, however, the less they were satisfied with a conception of the Promised Land, which went no farther than a pervasive economic prosperity guaranteed by free institutions. ↗

— Herbert Croly

#conception #consciously #democratic #economic #economic prosperity

As I got farther and farther along in the series I did less and less preparation. I didn't use outlines or sketches. I just had a vague idea of what I wanted to tell and then the dialogue just came to me as I was inking the page. ↗

— Jhonen Vasquez

#came #dialogue #did #farther #got

I didn't want to do a throwaway, mindless movie with fart jokes just to make 6-year-olds laugh. I want to provide my children with some substance. ↗

— Fred Durst

#fart #i #jokes #just #laugh

The only books that influence us are those for which we are ready, and which have gone a little farther down our particular path than we have yet got ourselves. ↗

— E. M. Forster

#down #farther #gone #got #influence

I don't know whether schooling would have helped me get farther along in music at this time. I doubt it would have. ↗

— Randy Travis

#doubt #farther #get #helped #i