#fantasy

My father always said that government is like watching another man piss in your boot. Someone feels better but it certainly isn't you. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#government #humor #humor

There wasn't a colloquial phrase, or curse, that went something like, "May your day be full of angry dragons" or, "May every dragon you meet today be pissed off." But, there should have been. ↗

— Michelle Sagara West

#fantasy #humor #humor

None could guess my confusion, my host of deluded illusions and elusive delusions! A mantle of marble hiding a crumbling core of sandstone. See how they stare at me, wondering, all wondering, at my secret wellspring of wisdom...' Let's kill him,' Crokus muttered, 'if only to put him out of our misery. ↗

— Steven Erikson

#humor #humor

Michael nodded tersely, eyeing a table across the room. It was empty. So empty. So joyfully, blessedly empty. He could picture himself a very happy man at that table. "Not feeling very conversational this evening, are we?" Colin asked, breaking into his (admittedly tame) fantasies. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#humor #julia-quinn #romance #humor

...Opal is dead, and I don't see how a healer can change that! It's not something to joke about." Joke?" Then Owen hit his forehead and cried, "That's right, you haven't heard!" Heard what?" asked Adrien, who felt an insane glimmer of hope return to his heart. Death is on strike! She hasn't done that for two centuries, and it's very annoying. Your friend is alive." Very annoying?" repeated Amber. "I don't see what's so annoying about a miracle! What is Death on strike for?" Everyone knows that Death lives in Fairytale-in an inaccessible area, obviously. And just a few hours ago, she decided to stop working. So, for now, no one can die. ↗

— Flavia Bujor

#fantasy #humor #miracle #change

I have to tell you, Arty, a screw up this early in the proceedings doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. I hope you’re as clever as you keep telling everyone you are.” “I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared... ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#fantasy #humor #humor

If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager ↗

— Dan Gutman

#humor #humor

Will you accompany me in this dance?” he said, bowing and holding out his hand. “No, thank you.” Miri smiled. The prince frowned and looked and the chief delegate as if for assistance. Miri laughed self consciously. “I, uh, I was teasing. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#fantasy #humor #romance #humor

Touch the sky of human imagination. Read fantasy. ↗

— A.E. Marling

#imagination

From time to time I once wondered how one wanders from time to time And think up the paradox line Speak of Epoch's crime Oh I lied, it hasn't happened yet But bet you better believe it's such a habit that I just said that in a past mindset ↗

— Criss Jami

#curiosity #epoch #fantasy #imagination #lies