#expected

Mind you, I'm a fine one to talke. I mean, I killed myself and just look at me now: I'm a qualified pilot, I can escape from a cockpit in five metres of water and I'm halfway up a mountain with a nutty gymnast who wants to chuck herself off the edge. ↗

— Steve Voake

#life #unexpected #life

A blanket could be used to wrap up all the love I have to offer you, so it’ll be easier for you to carry it across the desert. You’d better get walking, because me and my camel won’t be stopping until we have to pee.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Maxim 18: If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear. -The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries ↗

— Howard Tayler

#military #rules-to-live-by #suspicion #unexpected #military

A brick could be used to liven up urinal chatter. Also, instead of just repeating “Yeah” while the guy peeing next to you is talking, try a more positive affirmation, like pinching his butt cheek. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

There is nothing that compares to an unexpected round of applause. ↗

— Lynn Abbey

#compares #nothing #round #unexpected

Rather than be asked to abandon one's own heritage and to adapt to the mores of the new country, one was expected to possess a treasure of foreign skills and customs that would enrich the resources of American living. ↗

— Rudolf Arnheim

#adapt #american #asked #country #customs

The School Energy Crisis Relief Act authorizes the Secretary of Energy to issue energy assistance grants to help the poorest school districts across the Nation offset these unexpected and challenging costs. ↗

— Joe Baca

#act #assistance #authorizes #challenging #costs