#evie

I can’t see through clothes or anything. Just glamour skin. Except I can see through all of you, since your clothes aren’t real.” I stopped, horrified. “I mean, I don’t look—It’s hard to see you, and I like looking at your real face, but I don’t try to see anything, because—Oh gosh, this sounds terrible.” He had a funny look on his face, like he wasn’t sure what to think. “Huh. That’s never been an issue before. Maybe next time you could bring me some shorts. ↗

— Kiersten White

#lend #funny

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny #kiersten-white #paranormalcy #funny

What are you?" I whispered. "What are you?" Offended, I frowned. "Human." "Funny, me too." "No, you're not." "Funny, neither are you." I set my jaw and glared. What a jerk. "Why did you come here?" My voice came from his mouth, disconcerting as always. "I could ask you the same thing. Are you going to kill me? ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny

The Concord public library committee deserve well of the public by their action in banishing Mark Twain’s new book, Huckleberry Finn, on the ground that it is trashy and vicious. It is time that this influential pseudonym should cease to carry into homes and libraries unworthy productions… The advertising samples of this book, which have disfigured the Century magazine, are enough to tell any reader how offensive the whole thing must be. They are no better in tone than the dime novels which flood the blood-and-thunder reading population… his literary skill is, of course, superior, but their moral level is low, and their perusal cannot be anything less than harmful ↗

— The New York Times

#home

If you fail to report within the next 12 hours. you will be terminated. If you attack any humans, you will be terminated. If you attempt to remove the tracking device, you will be terminated. We look forward to working with you. ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#classic-insult #drama-critic #humor #katharine-hepburn #humor

Yo soy carne muerta. Translation: I am dead meat. ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

Reth looked exasperated. “When is something ever not wrong in your life?” I frowned. “That’s my line. ↗

— Kiersten White

#reth #life

Here have a drink' i lifted the goblet, and Stevie Rae took a big gulp. I frowned a little at her. 'what?' she whispered. 'Erik's yummy. ↗

— Kristin Cast and P.C. Cast

#stevie-rae-johnson #zoey-redbird #humor

I've never had a movie that got great reviews. I've had movies that got different levels of good and bad reviews, but you can more or less count on plenty of bad reviews. ↗

— Wes Anderson

#count #different #different levels #good #good and bad