#eve

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? ↗

— George Carlin

#anyone #driving #ever #faster #going

Hey," said Shadow. "Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are." The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes. "Say 'Nevermore,'" said Shadow. "Fuck you," said the raven. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #nevermore #parody #poe #raven

I told her I'd wait forever for her, but that was before I found somebody else who'd give me a ride home. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #home #humor #impatience #impatient

Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#always #any #anybody #because #everything

I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#karen-marie-moning #humor

So." [Isobel] cleared her throat. "What are we doing?" "We," [Varen] said at last, "are doing a project on Poe." "Didn't he marry his cousin or something?" "The man is a literary god and that's all you have to say? ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#isobel #nevermore #varen #humor

Miracles are merely events that happen just when they are needed. ↗

— David Gemmell

#revelation #inspirational

Percy?" Annabeth gripped his arm. "Oh, bad," he muttered. "Bad. Bad." He looked across the table at Frank and Hazel. "You guys remember Polybotes?" "The giant who invaded Camp Jupiter," Hazel said. "The anti-Poseidon you whacked in the head with a Terminus statue. Yes, I think I remember ↗

— Rick Riordan

#camp-jupiter #hazel-levesque #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson

If we were to hit the level that Metallica or somebody like that hit, we'd have had a hard time dealing with it. I think it would have been our doom. It's hard for anybody at that level. ↗

— Jerry Only

#been #dealing #doom #had #hard

Hazel!” he yelled. “That box! Open it!” She hesitated, then saw the box he meant. Te label read WARNING. DO NOT OPEN. “Open it!” Leo yelled again. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena #humor