#esma

I've been thinking. You'd better be my bridesmaid, since you gave me the idea that led to this whole farce. It's a horrible job, I'm sure, so you deserve it. Plus, you're my friend. Will you do it? ↗

— Jayne Bauling

#friend #friendship #marriage #friendship

Instead of a Lemonade Stand, I should open up a “You know what I can’t stand?” Stand. I’ll sell rants in small, medium, and large.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #funny

Love will find you eventually, I guarantee it. That’s why you need to buy an invisible cloak from me for the one-time low price of $77,777.77. Offer valid for emotional invalids only. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#emotions #guarantee #invalid #invisibility #invisible-cloak

Why spend ten dollars to buy one item that does two things, when for five dollars a piece I can sell you two items that each does one thing?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#deals #efficiency #function #funny #humor

My father had the spirit and integrity of a scientist, but he was a salesman. I remember asking him the question "How can a man of integrity be a salesman?" He said to me, "Frankly, many salesmen in the business are not straightforward--they think it's a better way to sell. But I've tried being straightforward, and I find it has its advantages. In fact, I wouldn't do it any other way. If the customer thinks at all, he'll realize he has had some bad experience with another salesman, but hasn't had that kind of experience with you. So in the end, several customers will stay with you for a long time and appreciate it. ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#humor-inspirational #integrity-in-science #integrity-of-a-salesman #integrity-of-a-scientist #life-inspirational

Have you ever noticed that it takes a textbook dozens of pages to say what normal people can cover fast? Example: What was the full impact of World War II? Clear-cut teenage answer: we won. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#world-war-ii

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? ↗

— Woody Allen

#evening #ever #insurance #life #salesman

When you're dealing with machines or anything that you build, it either works or it doesn't, no matter how good of a salesman you are. ↗

— Marc Andreessen

#build #dealing #either #good #how

A statesman wants courage and a statesman wants vision; but believe me, after six months' experience, he wants first, second, third and all the time - patience. ↗

— Stanley Baldwin

#believe #courage #experience #first #me

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull. ↗

— Dean Acheson

#first #requirement #statesman