#erect

The splendid empire of Charles the Fifth was erected upon the grave of liberty. ↗

— John Lothrop Motley

#empire #erected #fifth #grave #liberty

Renaldo once made a sex tape, and even fully erect, he still had to shoot it four times just to get some "footage. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fiction #funny #humor #movies #sex

Don't worry about being nervous. A lot of vampires have trouble with this from time to time. It happens to everyone." "If I was a forty-year-old man suffering from erectile dysfunction, that would be a great comfort to me, thanks. ↗

— Molly Harper

#erectile-dysfunction #funny #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

One of the side effects of Viagra is blurred vision. Sounds great! When I’m taking a pill to pop a stiffy, how great is it that any woman I look at has blurred features and therefore is as beautiful as an impressionistic painting?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beautiful #blurred-vision #drugs #erection #hard-on

It’s hard to type with gloves on. It’s also hard to type with just an erection. It’s basically like typing with one finger, and in my case, a pinky. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #penis #typing #change

Artists like Bach and Beethoven erected churches and temples on the heights. I only wanted... to build dwellings for men in which they might feel happy and at home. ↗

— Edvard Grieg

#bach #beethoven #build #churches #dwellings

In several sections, both natural in the banks of the Mississippi and its numerous arms, and where artificial canals had been cut, I observed erect stumps of trees, with their roots attached, buried in strata at different heights, one over the other. ↗

— Charles Lyell

#artificial #attached #banks #been #both

My erection at noon causes an elongated shadow so black you’d think I was an albino. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#albino #erection #funny #humor #noon

A teen boy's wet dream, right here, right in front of him. Elliott closed his eyes, trying to reason with his raging erection, which argued, Come on, come on, it's been fifty years. ↗

— Joss Ware

#raging-erection #sex #dreams

I shall sustain a massive erection, that’s what, and I shan’t be answerable for the consequences. Some kind of ejaculation is almost bound to ensue and if either of you were to become pregnant I should never forgive myself. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#erection #healey #humor #massive #pregnant