#eoin

The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#eoin-colfer #evolution #science #science

Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#colfer #colony #demons #eoin #fowl

Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#butler #eoin-colfer #humor #humor

Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#eoin-colfer #friendship #holly-short #inspirational #friendship

Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said. "Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#atlantis-complex #eoin-colfer #orion-fowl #focus

Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and used the man's forehead to smash the nut. Both men were hired on the spot. They quickly established themselves as Arno Blunt's most reliable leiutenants for in-house work. They were not allowed outside Chicago, as this could involve map reading, something Pex and Chips were not very good at. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#eoin-colfer #men

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#captain-short #eight #eoin-colfer #holly-short #humor

No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order ? la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#code #eoin-colfer #eternity #fowl #children

Now I can do the bolts," she slurred. "I've been trying to focus enough magic all week." The magic shifted and swirled, finally etching a picture in the air. It was a rough picture of Foaly, and he was laughing. I hate you, centaur!" screamed Opal, lunging toward, and then through, the insubstantial image. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and then she collapsed, snoring, on the floor. Artemis straightened his tie. Freud, he was certain, would have a field day with that. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#eoin-colfer #opal-koboi #focus