#ed

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#arnold #arnold schwarzenegger #bad #california #calling

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#education #given #good #good idea #homework

Every comedian dreams of hosting 'The Tonight Show' and, for seven months, I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#did #dreams #every #got #hosting

In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#alzheimer #backed #brain #bush #cell

In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#chances #changed #elections #five #had

Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#because #caused #controversy #eligible #fame

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#few #few things #having #liberating #life

Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#bush #changed #difference #hasn #his

One's dream is constantly evolving, rising and falling, changing course. This happens in every job, but because I have worked in comedy for twenty-five years, I can probably speak best about my own profession. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#because #best #changing #comedy #constantly

Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#charlie #charlie sheen #confirming #dating #doctors