#dun

I never understood why you would ever feel the need to shoot the fish in the barrel. I mean, they're in a barrel, you've already caught them. The hard work's done, they can't escape. So if you want them dead, just drain the water out. Why bring guns into it? ↗

— Craig Silvey

#humor #redundancy #humor

I spin around on the swivel chair and look up at the ceiling; Oliver being Oliver being Oliver being Oliver. I am suddenly aware of the separation between my-actual-self and myself-as-seen-by-others. Who would win in an arm wrestle? Who is better-looking? Who has the higher IQ? ↗

— Joe Dunthorne

#joe-dunthorne #submarine #introspection

We weren’t ourselves when we fell in love, and when we became ourselves – surprise! – we were poison. We complete each other in the nastiest, ugliest possible way. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#love

Jean-Luc glanced at the coach. "Who is that man? What is that machine?" "It's a dunking booth." "Ah, I understand." Jean-Luc nodded. "If he dose not drown, then he is a witch" "No, he's just a creep. It's a game. ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#dunking #witch #love

Fashion Tip Number 12: Gray is not the color to wear if you want to get noticed in a smoky, dingy dungeon. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fashion #funny #humor #funny

He always smelled like warm wood and brandy, even when he hadn't had a drop of drink. Funny how he managed that. Funny how his smell was in her bed. Henry's eyelids fluttered open. Funny how he was in her bed. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#funny

She was emotionally retarded having no sense of humour, cold and no people skills. She was like her mother was obsessed by appearances and wealth and longed to get married to escape from home. ↗

— Annette J. Dunlea

#annette-j-dunlea #irish-writer #home

The journey home was made short by Ronan’s tales of research on love. He confessed to Katie he was not good at expressing his inner feelings. He adopted the Socratic Method and asked all his friends and family for advice. They proved no help so he enlisted the help of Lovely Lucy Looney, the local librarian. He went and researched love, sex and flirting. He spoke of Lucy’s shock on his many visits to the library and his mortification but Katie’s love was worth all embarrassment. She was touched by his Herculean efforts and knew he was her soul mate ↗

— Annette J. Dunlea

#annette-j-dunlea #irish-writer #family

Cinta yang tidak dipersatukan Allah di Dunia mungkin disimpankan-Nya untuk dipersatukan di akhirat nanti. ↗

— Mahardhika Zifana

#allah #cinta #dunia #cinta

Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No we did not. Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Yes Jose: No we did not have a good day. Peanut: Yes we hhhaad...a great frickin' day! What? Jeff: Did you have a good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: A good day? Peanut: Yes Jose: No Peanut: Shut up Jeff: You're supposed to have taken him to the spa. Peanut: I took him to the spa! Jose: He put me in the vegetable steamer. Peanut: It's the same thing!!! ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#humor #jeff-dunham #jose-jalapeno-on-a-stick #peanut #humor