#dumb

What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff? ↗

— Paris Hilton

#dumb #wal-mart #paris

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hagrid #humor #uncle-vernon #humor

I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. ↗

— Britney Spears

#dumb #fish #humor #japan #stupid

Alas! Earwax! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare

I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #molly-weasley #humor

I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully. ↗

— George W. Bush

#dumb #fish #gaffe #george-bush #human

I have a sense that God is unfair and preferentially punishes his weak, his dumb, his fat, his lazy. I believe he takes more pleasure in his perfect creatures, and cheers them on like a brainless dad as they run roughshod over the rest of us. He gives us a need for love, and no way to get any. He gives us a desire to be liked, and personal attributes that make us utterly unlikable. Having placed his flawed and needy children in a world of exacting specifications, he deducts the difference between what we have and what we need from our hearts and our self-esteem and our mental health. ↗

— George Saunders

#cruelty #dumb #fat #god #lazy

For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death