#dumb

Well, he can't be dumb, I mean, because he's been president for four years and he's president again, so you're going to get caught out if you're really bad, aren't you? Unless millions and millions of Americans are dumb. ↗

— John Newcombe

#bad #because #been #caught #dumb

What do you see when you look in the mirror?' 'I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks.' Harry stared. 'One can never have enough socks,' said Dumbledore. 'Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#mirror-of-erised #presents #christmas

It’s time for the human race to enter the solar system. ↗

— Dan C. Quayle

#humor #humor

Mrs. Palmer is a teacher so naturally I assumed she would never do anything good for me. ↗

— Jim Benton

#diary #dumb #humor #teacher #humor

What's Walmart, do they sell like wall stuff? ↗

— Paris Hilton

#dumb #wal-mart #paris

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hagrid #humor #uncle-vernon #humor

I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. ↗

— Britney Spears

#dumb #fish #humor #japan #stupid

Alas! Earwax! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #humor

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare