#drinking

Your insult has offended me. If we were at the Peaks, we would have to duel in traditional alil'tiki'i fashion." "Which is what?" Teft asked. "With spears?" Rock laughed. "No, no. We upon the Peaks are not barbarians like you down here." "How then?" Kaladin asked, genuinely curious. "Well," Rock said, "is involving much mudbeer and singing." “How's that a duel?” "He who can still sing after the most drinks is winner. Plus, soon' everyone is so drunk that they forget what argument was about." Teft laughed. "Beats knives at dawn, I suppose. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#drinking #funny-quotes #funny

When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl stares and kitten curls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #cats #curls #dance #dancing

It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is? ↗

— Amy Neftzger

#drinking #friday #humor #humorous #margarita

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#humor #freedom

Alcohol is the anethesia by which we endure the operation of life. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#drinking #life

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ↗

— Drew Carey

#humor #jobs #life #humor

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. ↗

— Steve Martin

#humor #writing #humor

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#drinking #humor #humor

Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor #humor

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#drinking #humor #humor