#drink

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. ↗

— Drew Carey

#humor #jobs #life #humor

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. ↗

— Steve Martin

#humor #writing #humor

Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! ↗

— Warren Ellis

#drinking #humor #humor

Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#humor #humor

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#drinking #humor #humor

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. ↗

— W.C. Fields

#drinking #humor #humor

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#drinking #humor #life #design

His eyes betrayed a terrible truth about him, that his heart lay still in his chest, dead to the world from a tortuous 'goodbye' that he could never permanently forget. Though there did not exist a drink strong enough to repair such wounds, one did allow him to forget; if only for a night.. And so he drank whiskey. ↗

— Brian Patrick Gleason

#eyes #forgetting #love #lovers #sadness

Bats have no bankers and they do not drink and cannot be arrested and pay no tax and, in general, bats have it made. ↗

— John Berryman

#bankers #bats #cannot #drink #general

I'm doing naughty things, I'm drinking too much, I'm going to clubs. It really didn't matter to me, other than the fact that some parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with me. ↗

— Macaulay Culkin

#doing #drinking #fact #going #hang