#dresden

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

My name is Markowski. I carry a badge. Also a crucifix, some wooden stakes, a big vial of holy water, and a 9mm Beretta loaded with silver bullets. I was never a Boy Scout but "Be Prepared" is still a good motto to live by. Especially if you plan to keep living. ↗

— Justin Gustainis

#humor #mystery #paranormal #humor

Rest. Heal. Sleep. I shall most likely kill you on the morrow.” “You? A Princess Bride quote?” I croaked. “What is that?” she asked. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #princess-bride #humor

Vanity, thy name is vampire. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#thomas-raith #vampires #vanity #vanity

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #kids #storm_front #humor

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #laughter #humor

Hell's bells, irony blows. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #irony #humor

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #religion #humor

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor