#dresden

I guess maybe you don’t get to be the Merlin of the White Council by saving up frequent-flier miles ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

My office is in a building in midtown Chicago. It's an older building, and not in the best of shape, especially since there was that problem with the elevator last year. I don't care what anyone says, that wasn't my fault. when a giant scorpion the size of an Irish wolfhound is tearing its way through the roof of your elevator car, you get real willing to take desperate measures. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #kids #storm_front #humor

Laughter is good for you. Nine out of ten stand-up comedians recommend laughter in the face of intense stupidity. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #laughter #humor

Hell's bells, irony blows. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #irony #humor

Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #women #humor

See? This is why I'm not religious. I couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut long enough to get along with everyone else. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #religion #humor

Heroism doesn't pay very well. I try to be cold-blooded and money-oriented, but I keep screwing it up. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#heroism #humor #humor

I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#ferro #harry-dresden #humor #sarcasm #humor

Sometimes I forget how much I like riding the bike." Most chicks do," I said. "Roar of the engine and so on." Murphy's blue eyes glittered with annoyance and anticipation. "Pig. You really enjoy dropping all women together in the same demographic, don't you?" It's not my fault all women like motorcycles, Murph. They're basically huge vibrators. With wheels. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #karrin-murphy #women #humor