#dl

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

Television's perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are watching the bubbles in the primeval ooze. You don't have to concentrate. You don't have to react. You don't have to remember. You don't miss your brain because you don't need it. Your heart and liver and lungs continue to function normally. Apart from that, all is peace and quiet. You are in the man's nirvana. And if some poor nasty minded person comes along and says you look like a fly on a can of garbage, pay him no mind. He probably hasn't got the price of a television set. ↗

— Raymond Chandler

#chandler #humor #ooze #philosophy #raymond-chandler

I stared up at the sky and raised my middle finger, just in case God was watching. I don't like being spied on. ↗

— Annabel Pitcher

#god #humor #innocent #middle-finger #privacy

Teaching middle school is an adventure not a job. ↗

— Angela K. Bennett

#middle-school #school #teach #teens #humor

Father Pierre, why did you stay on in this colonial Campari-land, where the clink of glasses mingles with the murmur of a million mosquitoes, where waterfalls and whiskey wash away the worries of a world-weary whicker, where gin and tonics jingle in a gyroscopic jubilee of something beginning with J? ↗

— Graham Chapman

#eric-idle #humor #monty-python #humor

The problem for me is that I can't ever really see who Gregory is, any more than I can see what a mirror by itself looks like, because he reflects whoever's around him. ↗

— Elizabeth Chandler

#kissed-by-an-angel #mirror #power-of-love #soulmates #love

Keith was just bringing the glass to his lips when Adrian said, "Mmm. O positive, my favorite." Keith sprayed out the wine he'd just drunk and promptly started coughing. I was relieved that none got on me. jill burst into giggles, and Clarence stared at his glass wonderingly. "Is it? I thought it was a cabernet sauvignon." "So it is," said Adrian, straight-faced. "My mistake. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#blood #bloodlines #keith #wine

Some people say—not to my face, mind you—that I’m a cowardly son of a bitch. And that is simply not true. My mom is not a bitch.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#coward #cowardly #gossip #mom #mother

If you want to be a good saddler, saddle the worst horse; for if you can tame one, you can tame all. ↗

— Socrates

#saddler #socrates #tame #horses

I write thrillers for the same reason that people read them – it's escapism. ↗

— Ken McClure

#mcclure #medical-thrillers #science #thrillers #science