#discworld

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#change #discworld #growth #travel #change

If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #puns #equality

There are things so horrible that even the dark is afraid of them. Most people don't know this and this is just as well because the world could not really operate if everyone stayed in bed with the blankets over their head, which is what would happen if people knew what horrors lay a shadow's width away. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#dark #discworld #equal-rites #horror #terry-pratchett

A dollar for a human bought a loaf of bread that was eaten in a few bites. The same dollar for Wee Mad Arthur bought the same-sized loaf, but it was food for a week and could then be further hollowed out ans used as a bedroom. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#feet-of-clay #wee-mad-arthur #food

Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of repressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It's not tearing your throats out that doesn't come easily to me. Please don't make it any harder. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #vampires #humor

He was trying to conjure up a succubus." It should be impossible to leer when all you've got is a beak, but the parrot managed it. "That's a female demon what comes in the night and makes mad passionate wossn-" "I've heard of them," said Rincewind. "Bloody dangerous things." The parrot put its head on one side. "It never worked. All he ever got was a neuralger." "What's that?" "It's a demon that comes and has a headache at you. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#discworld #humor #humor

Open your eyes and then open your eyes again. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#men

Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight! ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#jingo #vetinari #vimes #war #men

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#bookstore #discworld #read #reading #read

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny