#delusional

The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how I knew she really loved me. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#attempted-murder #authorities #choke #choking #crime

When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accessible #blush #blushing #celebrity #delusional

In utopia, rule by masterminds is both necessary and necessarily primitive, for it excludes so much that is known to man and about man. The mastermind is driven by his own boundless conceit and delusional aspirations, which he self-identifies as a noble calling. He alone is uniquely qualified to carry out this mission. He is, in his own mind, a savior of mankind, if only man will bend to his own will. Such can be the addiction of power. It can be an irrationally egoistic and absurdly frivolous passion that engulfs even sensible people. In this, mastermind suffers from a psychosis of sorts and endeavors to substitute his own ambitions for the individual ambitions of millions of people. ↗

— Mark R. Levin

#egoistic #mastermind #power #mankind

How can I clearly see what’s wrong with someone else, and then look at myself as though I’m standing in front of a fogged mirror?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#delusional #delusions #hypocrisy #hypocrisy

Beware when wrong-doing is called good and right-doing is called evil." ~R. Alan Woods [2013] ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#delusional #good-and-evil #good-vs-evil #r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

I think it was a possibility, I think we're all kind of delusional like that, we think that we can all carry on being who we are without bending ourselves to make ourselves acceptable and expect someone to come along and see to us and rescue to us. ↗

— Brendan Gleeson

#along #being #bending #carry #come

She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you" with "May I take your order? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cashier #confusion #daydreaming #delusional #fantasy

On my first date with Agatha, I wore tight green Spandex, which made my skinny legs look like asparagus. Knowing no heterosexual woman could resist such a temptation, I set out to seduce her. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#delusional #funny #seduce #dating

Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#adore #adoring #adulation #death #delusion

My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional. ↗

— Wayne Gerard Trotman

#delusions #drugs #funny-quotes #mother #psychiatrist