#date

If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith ↗

— Josh Stern

#faith #humor #pretty #renounce #second-date

One stood behind me and ran her hands down my chest, her breasts rubbing against my back. The next stood in front of me holding onto my shirt and pulling me close to her as she ground into me seductively. The third danced slowly and seductively with the second girl, giving the girl-on-girl effect. I knew I was going to burst at any moment, so I had to close my eyes and take repeated deep breaths to calm down. "What’s the matter Aid-man, you feeling a little frustrated?" Dixon boasted from under his lap dancer. "Shut up Dixon." Though I didn’t really want him to shut up, his teasing was distracting me pretty well. "I’m going to kill you for this." "Oh no little man!" He laughed loudly. "Thank your future wife! That one is on her!" he howled. ↗

— Sadie Grubor

#sadie-grubor #save-the-date #dating

Dinner was a disaster. Brent introduced himself while staring at my bulge, and I was glad to be shown to our table so that we were seated with a table between us, forcing him to look me in the eye. Apparently, my eyes have moved down to my pecs, though, as that's where he decided to fix his attention throughout dinner. ↗

— Brett Kiellerop

#humor #shallowness #dating

It's delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. 'I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.' 'I don't know. I think it's too cold for forever,' I say, smiling. ↗

— Joanna Mazurkiewicz

#date #funny #romantic #dating

Keep at it. Persistence does pay dividends. But there is a catch; you gotta believe it before manifestation will validate conviction as [your] truth. And sacrifice is a required path to fulfillment. ↗

— T.F. Hodge

#believe #believing #believing-in-yourself #conviction #dividends

The importance of setting a date, as in choosing a colour, is a matter of selection. Orange may be seen equally well as 'the decline and fall of red' or 'the rise and triumph of yellow'. ↗

— Donald Thomas

#history #thought-provoking #dating

He(Prophet Muhammad) laid the foundation of a universal government. His law was one for all. Equal justice and love for everyone. ↗

— Rev. B. Margoliouth

#everyone #fact #freedom #guidance #islam

When considering a candidate for office, almost right up until they enter the polling booth and sometimes even in the booth itself, most voters rely more on what they see and hear themselves in real time than on facts, history, logic, or learned experience. ↗

— Quin Hillyer

#experience #facts #history #logic #political-candidates

A decent moustache can intimidate a man, while a great moustache can frighten an army. ↗

— Anya Wylde

#intimidate #men-s-appearance #moustache #men

Josh turns to me. “I can’t believe she’s writing these things.” “Not she,” I say. “Me.” “Why would anyone say this stuff about themselves on the Internet? It’s crazy!” “Exactly,” I say. “I’m going to be mentally ill in fifteen years, and that’s why my husband doesn’t want to be around me. ↗

— Jay Asher

#status-updates #internet