#contracts

I didn't sign any contracts, and I didn't see any oil. ↗

— Vladimir Zhirinovsky

#contracts #i #oil #see #sign

Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: 'Learn, guys... ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humor #humor

Talik said, 'His contract with Lord Berenger ends soon. Ancel will seek a new contract, a high bidder. He wants money, status. He is foolish. Lord Berenger may offer less money, but he is kind, and never puts pets in the ring. Ancel has made many enemies. In the ring, someone will scratch his green eyes out, an "accident."' Damen was drawn in against his will. 'That's why he's chasing royal attention? He wants the Prince to--' He tried out the unfamiliar vocabulary. '--offer for his contract?' 'The Prince?' said Talik, scornfully. 'Everyone knows the Prince does not keep pets.' 'None at all?' said Damen. She said, 'You.' She looked him up and down. 'Perhaps the Prince has a taste for men, not these painted Veretian boys who squeal if you pinch them.' Her tone suggested that she approved of this on general principle. ↗

— S.U. Pacat

#captive-prince #contracts #damen #laurent #talik

We are telling veterans they must sacrifice to pay for the pet projects and contracts to campaign donors of powerful members of Congress. ↗

— Nick Lampson

#congress #contracts #donors #members #must

If there was ever any truth to the trickle-down theory, the only evidence of it I've ever seen was in that period of 1960 to 1965. All of sudden they were handing out major label recording contracts like they were coming in Cracker Jack boxes. ↗

— Dave Van Ronk

#boxes #coming #contracts #cracker #ever

A woman's flattery may inflate a man's head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her. ↗

— Helen Rowland

#contracts #criticism #flattery #goes #head

I want companies who get federal contracts to hire more women and minorities from the local area. ↗

— Hilda Solis

#companies #contracts #federal #get #hire

I don't pitch for contracts. ↗

— Curt Schilling

#i #pitch

Business in Russia was not being done like in the West, with contracts. In Russia, hundreds of millions of dollars were going forward and backward by word of mouth. ↗

— David Reuben

#being #being done #business #contracts #dollars

Contract law is essentially a defensive scorched-earth battleground where the constant question is, “if my business partner was possessed by a brain-eating monster from beyond spacetime tomorrow, what is the worst thing they could do to me? ↗

— Charles Stross

#contract-law #contracts #publishing #worst-case-scenarios #business