#condoms

I didn't eat." "What difference does that make?" "I'm not like you. I can't recharge by feeding off someone. I need food." "I know that! When was the last time you ate?" "Yesterday." "Yester--why the hell didn't you eat?" "We had to go buy condoms, remember?" "And you couldn't grab a sandwich on the way out?" he said hysterically. "I'm gonna die because you couldn't grab a sandwich? ↗

— Karen Chance

#food

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#funny #lucy #over-protective #funny

Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms. ↗

— Inga Muscio

#homosexuality #men #safe-sex #sex #men

I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms. ↗

— Usher

#condoms #eye #gave #grandmother #guess

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#cause #condoms #crisis #doctors #having

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ↗

— Bob Rubin

#completely #condoms #friend #got #hit

I forgot my pills, I couldn't have cared less about condoms, all for feverishly wanting to get some! ↗

— Gloria Trevi

#cared #condoms #forgot #get #i

Nowadays, you can do anything that you want—anal, oral, fisting—but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection. ↗

— Slavoj Žižek

#condoms #fisting #liberalism #oral-sex #protection

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

I remembered during puberty, through the anorexic mists of intermittent menstrual cycles, that man, my father, lifting Shirley's nightdress over her head and asking her in his mocking way to choose what colour condom she wanted. 'Red or yellow?' Which did she choose? I can't remember. Perhaps she alternated. Perhaps there were other colours. It didn't happen once. It happened again and again. I had no power to stop it. That man, my father, had some control over me. I was drugged by the black silence in that big house, the vile whiff of aftershave, the crushing torment of inevitability. My father fucked Shirley using red or yellow condoms and it was those condoms that brought it all to an end. It was my last realization of the day; any more would have been too much to contemplate. That time when my mother had found used condoms in bedroom, he had admitted, after a pointless burst my father's of denial, that he had been going to prostitutes. That was no doubt true but I can't imagine clients take used condoms away with them; prostitutes would surely get rid of the things. No. My father kept those used condoms as a prize. He was fucking his fourteen-year-old-daughter. He was proud of it. Rebecca welled up with tears. Poor thing, she kept saying. Poor thing. ↗

— Alice Jamieson

#child-abuse #child-rape #child-sexual-abuse #condoms #dissociation