#condoms

For if in careless summer days In groves of Ashtaroth we whored, Repentant now, when winds blow cold, We kneel before our rightful lord; The lord of all, the money-god, Who rules us blood and hand and brain, Who gives the roof that stops the wind, And, giving, takes away again; Who spies with jealous, watchful care, Our thoughts, our dreams, our secret ways, Who picks our words and cuts our clothes, And maps the pattern of our days; Who chills our anger, curbs our hope, And buys our lives and pays with toys, Who claims as tribute broken faith, Accepted insults, muted joys; Who binds with chains the poet’s wit, The navvy’s strength, the soldier’s pride, And lays the sleek, estranging shield Between the lover and his bride. ↗

— George Orwell

#condoms #money #poetry #poverty #sex

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#baby #baby-names #birth #condoms #fiscally-irresponsible

I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: ‘No. 1 in AMERICA’. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience. ↗

— Joe Dunthorne

#humour #sex #virginity #experience

I didn't eat." "What difference does that make?" "I'm not like you. I can't recharge by feeding off someone. I need food." "I know that! When was the last time you ate?" "Yesterday." "Yester--why the hell didn't you eat?" "We had to go buy condoms, remember?" "And you couldn't grab a sandwich on the way out?" he said hysterically. "I'm gonna die because you couldn't grab a sandwich? ↗

— Karen Chance

#food

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#funny #lucy #over-protective #funny

Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms. ↗

— Inga Muscio

#homosexuality #men #safe-sex #sex #men

I guess I had it made. My mother gave me advice - she taught me that women like to be looked in the eye - and my grandmother gave me condoms. ↗

— Usher

#condoms #eye #gave #grandmother #guess

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? ↗

— Phyllis Diller

#cause #condoms #crisis #doctors #having

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ↗

— Bob Rubin

#completely #condoms #friend #got #hit

I forgot my pills, I couldn't have cared less about condoms, all for feverishly wanting to get some! ↗

— Gloria Trevi

#cared #condoms #forgot #get #i