#condom

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #condom




Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning…give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family. --Carter


Tara Sivec


#condom-funny #humor #family

Abstinence, being faithful and correct and consistent condom use are the only ways to successfully reach everyone when discussing HIV prevention. I believe that the abstinence message alone does not solve the AIDS epidemic.


Ashley Judd


#aids #alone #being #believe #condom

When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, “You want me to wear a condom?!”



Jarod Kintz


#failure #false-conclusion #horrified #horror #mistake

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.



Dark Jar Tin Zoo


#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor

For if in careless summer days In groves of Ashtaroth we whored, Repentant now, when winds blow cold, We kneel before our rightful lord; The lord of all, the money-god, Who rules us blood and hand and brain, Who gives the roof that stops the wind, And, giving, takes away again; Who spies with jealous, watchful care, Our thoughts, our dreams, our secret ways, Who picks our words and cuts our clothes, And maps the pattern of our days; Who chills our anger, curbs our hope, And buys our lives and pays with toys, Who claims as tribute broken faith, Accepted insults, muted joys; Who binds with chains the poet’s wit, The navvy’s strength, the soldier’s pride, And lays the sleek, estranging shield Between the lover and his bride.


George Orwell


#condoms #money #poetry #poverty #sex

She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.



Dark Jar Tin Zoo


#baby #baby-names #birth #condoms #fiscally-irresponsible

I bought a packet of Trojan® Ultra Pleasure Extra Sensitive condoms: ‘No. 1 in AMERICA’. They smell nothing like a positive first sexual experience.


Joe Dunthorne


#humour #sex #virginity #experience

I didn't eat." "What difference does that make?" "I'm not like you. I can't recharge by feeding off someone. I need food." "I know that! When was the last time you ate?" "Yesterday." "Yester--why the hell didn't you eat?" "We had to go buy condoms, remember?" "And you couldn't grab a sandwich on the way out?" he said hysterically. "I'm gonna die because you couldn't grab a sandwich?


Karen Chance


#food

Stop hiding condoms in my stuff. It's like some twisted Easter egg hunt in there.


Alyxandra Harvey


#funny #lucy #over-protective #funny

Men who refuse to use condoms do not deserve to be fucked by anyone but other men who refuse to use condoms.


Inga Muscio


#homosexuality #men #safe-sex #sex #men