#condom

Some words have multiple meanings. Scholastic, aware that I'm allergic to preservatives, kindly got someone to translate the phrase "I can only eat food without preservatives" into Italian. They warned me, however, as they taught me how to say it, that the Italian word for "preservatives" is the same as the word for "condom." So that I should be careful how I look when I say it. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#food

Condoms ribbed for extrasensitivity. The last thing I need is extrasensitivity. Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can fuck for hours. This seems to really miss the point. I want my whole life lined with a topical anesthetic. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#life

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom? ↗

— Adam Ant

#first #first time #how #i #lose

One of the problems with sex education... is that it also strips kids - especially girls - of their modesty to have every detail of anatomy, physiology and condom usage made explicit. ↗

— James Dobson

#anatomy #condom #detail #education #especially

Some people use just one condom, right? But we use tons. ↗

— Tracey Emin

#just #just one #people #right #some

There is a great deal of political pressure to only talk about abstinence, and to deny support for condoms and education on using them. This policy will lead to the unnecessary deaths of many people. ↗

— Hillary Clinton

#abstinence #condoms #deal #deaths #deny

Trojan, Durex, Lifestyles, Trojan Magnum (oh yeah, my three foot cock definitely needed those), Contempo, Vivid and Rough Rider. Seriously? There was a condom brand called Rough Rider? Why not just go with Fuck Her Hard and be done with it? I stood in the "Family Planning" aisle of the grocery store, trying to decide which condom brand was more effective. Family Planning…give me a break. How many people came to this aisle because they were planning a family? They came to this aisle to AVOID planning a family. --Carter ↗

— Tara Sivec

#condom-funny #humor #family

Abstinence, being faithful and correct and consistent condom use are the only ways to successfully reach everyone when discussing HIV prevention. I believe that the abstinence message alone does not solve the AIDS epidemic. ↗

— Ashley Judd

#aids #alone #being #believe #condom

When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, “You want me to wear a condom?!”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#failure #false-conclusion #horrified #horror #mistake

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#condom #food #fruit #funny #humor