#condo

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#condoms #humorous-comebacks #insult #humor

He really had been through death, but he had returned because he could not bear the solitude. ↗

— Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

#melquiades #death

I remembered during puberty, through the anorexic mists of intermittent menstrual cycles, that man, my father, lifting Shirley's nightdress over her head and asking her in his mocking way to choose what colour condom she wanted. 'Red or yellow?' Which did she choose? I can't remember. Perhaps she alternated. Perhaps there were other colours. It didn't happen once. It happened again and again. I had no power to stop it. That man, my father, had some control over me. I was drugged by the black silence in that big house, the vile whiff of aftershave, the crushing torment of inevitability. My father fucked Shirley using red or yellow condoms and it was those condoms that brought it all to an end. It was my last realization of the day; any more would have been too much to contemplate. That time when my mother had found used condoms in bedroom, he had admitted, after a pointless burst my father's of denial, that he had been going to prostitutes. That was no doubt true but I can't imagine clients take used condoms away with them; prostitutes would surely get rid of the things. No. My father kept those used condoms as a prize. He was fucking his fourteen-year-old-daughter. He was proud of it. Rebecca welled up with tears. Poor thing, she kept saying. Poor thing. ↗

— Alice Jamieson

#child-abuse #child-rape #child-sexual-abuse #condoms #dissociation

Humans are very strange. When you need a hug, they throw you away, when you need condolence , they insult you, and when you need love, they betray you. ↗

— M.F. Moonzajer

#condolence #hug #humans #insult #love

These irresponsible acts, which cannot have any justification whatsoever, are to be fully condemned. In these appalling circumstances, I want to offer you the most sincere condolences, both in my name and in that of the French people. ↗

— Jacques Chirac

#any #appalling #both #cannot #circumstances

When you live in a condo complex with people next door, I don't know how you can be dead for four months without anybody noticing you not coming and going. ↗

— Laura Schlessinger

#coming #complex #condo #dead #door

Some words have multiple meanings. Scholastic, aware that I'm allergic to preservatives, kindly got someone to translate the phrase "I can only eat food without preservatives" into Italian. They warned me, however, as they taught me how to say it, that the Italian word for "preservatives" is the same as the word for "condom." So that I should be careful how I look when I say it. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#food

Seeing no better jobs on the horizon than flipping hamburgers with so much grease it would make Portugal, Italy, and Spain jealous, I decided to go back to school. It reminds me of something Zelda’s mom told her in November 2007: “Some people flip condos and make millions. Your boyfriend couldn’t even flip burgers and make minimum wage. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#condos #depression #economic-depression #economy #horizon

Condoms ribbed for extrasensitivity. The last thing I need is extrasensitivity. Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can fuck for hours. This seems to really miss the point. I want my whole life lined with a topical anesthetic. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#life

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom? ↗

— Adam Ant

#first #first time #how #i #lose