#comical

Stark raving mad. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#inspirational #inspirational

I cannot, I cannot,' cried Marianne; 'leave me, leave me, if I distress you; leave me, hate me, forget me! But do not torture me so. Oh! how easy for those who have no sorrow of their own to talk of extertion! ↗

— Jane Austen

#comical #distress #love #torture #anger

We made it back to the airport without getting mugged, stoned, shot at, pounced on, bombed, shelled, garroted, gassed, pitched into, caught in a cross fire, sniped at, blockaded, napalmed, or trip-wired. No one even hit us with a water balloon. ↗

— Daniel Quinn

#funny #humor #ishmael #funny

The world has held great Heroes, As history-books have showed; But never a name to go down to fame Compared with that of Toad The clever men at Oxford Know all that there is to be knowed. But they none of them knew one half as much As intelligent Mr Toad! The animals sat in the Ark and cried, Their tears in torrents flowed. Who was it said, “There’s land ahead?” Encouraging Mr Toad! The Army all saluted As they marched along the road. Was it the King? Or Kitchener? No. It was Mr Toad! The Queen and her Ladies-in-waiting Sat at the window and sewed. She cried, “Look! who’s that handsome man?” They answered, “Mr Toad. ↗

— Kenneth Grahame

#toad #intelligence

Well Connor thought ruefully At least now I know who to thank for my anger issues. ↗

— Justin Somper

#connor #funny #vampirates #anger

How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, began screaming "Off with her head! Off with--" "Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#to-get-the-best-of #business

Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late. ↗

— Bryan Davis

#blunt #comical #funny #harsh #irony