#comedy

Our family was nearly torn apart on several occasions by arguments started when the refrigerator door was open for what my father deemed as ‘too long. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #family

We goan start promptly at seven o'clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions before we get started. ↗

— Charmaine T. Davis

#family-comedy #humor #family

I'm starved." -Juli "How can you be starved? You just ate a huge bowl of popcorn." -Elspeth "Popcorn isn't food, it's popcorn." -Vicki ↗

— Lynsay Sands

#food #immortals #sisters #vampires #food

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. ↗

— Graham Chapman

#food

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window. ↗

— Jim Norton

#forgiveness #leaderless #molotov #noremorse #resistance

Friendship matters first. ↗

— Kristine Cuevas

#frienship #romantic-comedy #dreams

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. ↗

— Hal Sparks

#being #comedy #could #done #goal

As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up. ↗

— George Carlin

#funny #humor #funny

It's not a stereotype if it's always true. ↗

— Daniel Tosh

#daniel-tosh #funny #funny

What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows. ↗

— John Green

#comedy #funny #funny