#comedy

From long experience in places like Afghanisatan and Chechnya, Sokolov recognised, in the black jihadist’s movements, a sort of cultural or attitudinal advantage that such people always enjoyed in situations like this: they were complete fatalists who believed that God was on their side. Russians, on the other hand, were fatalists of a somewhat different kind, believing, or at least strongly suspecting, that they were fucked no matter what, and that they had better just make the best of it anyway, but not seeing in this the hand of God at work or the hope of some future glory in a martyr’s heavens. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#experience

Our family was nearly torn apart on several occasions by arguments started when the refrigerator door was open for what my father deemed as ‘too long. ↗

— Weston Locher

#comedy #essay #funny #humor #family

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window. ↗

— Jim Norton

#forgiveness #leaderless #molotov #noremorse #resistance

Well I beat things around with my stick once in awhile. ↗

— Kira

#humor #humor

بعضهم يقول إن الحياة قصيرة، وأنك قد تموت في حادث سيارة في أي لحظة، فعليك أن تعيش كل يوم كأنه آخر أيامك. هذا هراء. الحيـاة طويلة. ومن المحتمل جداً أنك لا تموت في حادث سيارة، وعندها عليك أن تعيش مع نتائج خياراتك لمدة خمسين عاماً ↗

— Chris Rock

#humor #humor

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story ↗

— Greg Giraldo

#religion #humor

She didn't know what a goji berry was, but it sounded like something Amazonian tribesmen might eat when they wanted to talk to their ancestors and embark on an inner voyage into some sort of unicorn-infested netherworld. Whatever worked. ↗

— Lola Salt

#humour #romance #life

Life is like an insurance policy, no matter what happens there’s always a deductible clause. ↗

— EN Heim

#humor #laughs #life

If you don't want to tear off the clothes of the person you're on a date with and jump into bed with them, then what's the point? I'd never date; instead, I'd have lots of good friends and hug them a lot and life would be easier and neater and uncomplicated. ↗

— Rachel Machacek

#dating #humor #love #romance #dating

Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you. ↗

— Jesse Petersen

#married-with-zombies #zombies #friendship