#comedian

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it. ↗

— John Leguizamo

#comedian #gotta #way #you

Believe it or not the war on Iraq is based on a sound scientific principle, The bee hive principle. Which clearly states that if you are stung by a bee, you should follow it back to its nest and then proceed to beat nest to a pulp with a baseball bat until the stripey little turd has learned its lesson. ↗

— John Oliver

#hilarious #baseball

I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#funny

A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere. ↗

— Allan Carr

#bad #blame #comedians #crowd #everything

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction. ↗

— Bobby Darin

#comedians #comics #distinction #great #i

I was stuck in the benefits of being a known comedian. ↗

— Andrea Martin

#benefits #comedian #i #known #stuck

I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian. ↗

— Paul Merton

#especially #good #having #i #i think

Even when I lecture per se, I am a joke comedian, I can do the voices. ↗

— Dave Pelzer

#comedian #even #i #i am #i can

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do. ↗

— Adam Sandler

#become #comedian #excited #get #got

Shut up…let me tell you, LET ME. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough...I don’t even think about women anymore. I think about you. ↗

— Louis C.K.

#louis-ck #love #romance #unrequited-love #love