#comedian

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#cannot #clear #comedian #cut #either

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO. ↗

— Dave Chappelle

#ceo #comedian #fourteen #i #never

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else. ↗

— Dave Chappelle

#anything #asked #comedian #doing #else

If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay. ↗

— Eddie Izzard

#comedian #comedians #doing #down #feeling

I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater. ↗

— Demetri Martin

#comedy #demetri-martin #fly #funny #humor

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people. ↗

— Chelsea Handler

#comedy #dogs #funny #humor #humorous

Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and its sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early. ↗

— Doug Stanhope

#doug #stanhope #life

The light. The light is so bright that all that remains is you and the darkness. You can feel the audience breathing. It's like holding a gun or standing on a precipice and knowing you must jump. It feels slow and fast. It's like dying and being born and fucking and crying. It's like falling in love and being utterly alone with God; you taste your own mouth and feel your own skin and I knew I was alive and I knew who I was and that that wasn't who I'd been up till then. I'd been so far away but I knew I was home. ↗

— Russell Brand

#performance #love

I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter. ↗

— Steve Martin

#automatic #automatically #bothered #comedians #day

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. ↗

— Steve Martin

#believed #best #comedians #comedic #entertainers