#cod

My prototype of a woman was the type who would appear in hallucinations at the last moments of your freezing to death at the top of an icy mountain, a mythical beauty who blurred the line between dreams and reality. For four years, that’s what I believed. And I wasted all of my university days–during which I had the most courage and honesty I would ever have towards life–because of it. ↗

— Miaojin Qiu

#notes-of-a-crocodile #beauty

When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you. ↗

— Leslie Vernick

#love #relationships #love

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary numerals, and those who don't. ↗

— Ian Stewart

#computers #humor #humor

Doug returned five minutes later and shook his head. "Sorry kid. She's single, but she doesn't think you're her type. She's into the Goth and vampire scene. You're too mainstream for her." I was sipping a glass of water and nearly choked on it. "That," said Peter, as soon as Doug was gone, "is what we call irony." "How is that possible?" exclaimed Cody. "I am a vampire. I should be exactly what she wants." "Yeah, but you don't look like one," I said. If Gabrielle had been a Trekkie, he might have had a shot tonight. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #humor

Hey, check this weirdo out." Hi was inspecting a bust on the mantel. "This face is ninety percent eyebrow. What do you want to bet he owned slaves?" Scowling to match the carving's expression, Hi spoke in a gravelly voice. "In my day, we ate the poor people. We had a giant outdoor grill, and we cooked up peasant steaks every Sunday." ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#funny #hi #humor #kathy-reichs #poor-people

My life is a code within a code, and I’ll crack both like two eggs and eat my existence like an omelet. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#existence #funny #omelet #funny

It was a good thing Ridge was mighty fond of Tug or he’d probably have killed him by now. As it was, it had been touch and go for a little while that morning. But killing your lover on Christmas morning was so…so…heterosexual. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#funny

Do not start me on The Da Vinci Code ... a novel so bad that it gives bad novels a bad name." (Discussion at Woodruff Auditorium in Lawrence, KS; October 7, 2005.) ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#literary-criticism #novels #the-davinci-code #writing #literary-criticism

There should be a phone service, I thought, something like 1-800-MEDIUM-1.Where an automated voice would direct you. Press one if an object in your home is levitating. Press two if there is ectoplasm oozing out of your walls. Press three if spirits are disrupting your cable service. Press four if you've inherited your mother's psychic abilities. ↗

— Elizabeth Cody Kimmel

#school-spirit #home

What's he doing?" Bethany asked. "He's bowing.'Good day milday." Bethany giggled. "Crocodiles don't bow." "They should when they meet a princess. ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#crocodiles #princess #love