#clone

I wish I could claim that I said this being an author, but alas I did not." -- I try to leave out the parts that people skip. — Elmore Leonard ↗

— Tommy Taylor

#christian #clone #fiction #mystery #thriller

Being sociable is a skill you can learn. It’s like throwing a spiral, riding a bicycle, or murdering your clone’s lover, who also happens to be your girlfriend. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #murder #funny

I worry about identity theft. What’s to stop somebody from cloning me to drain the cash from my bank account? And it’d be just as easy for my clone to pretend to be me as it is for me to pretend to be me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #identity-theft #funny

She said, “You disgust me. How do you live with yourself?” So I said, “Like I live with my clone: with many pats on the back, accompanied by high flattery. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

Freud was a fraud, but he’d probably think I have a complex of some kind. Anal, oral, Orafoural, etc. While most kids wanted to grow up to be an astronaut, one of Barbara Streisand’s bras, a priest in sheep’s clothing, or an IRS employee, I always wanted to be my own clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #irs #funny

Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a person. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #funny

I’m thinking of moving my cloning factory to someplace less visible, like in front of a fogged mirror. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#factory #funny #humor #funny

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #clone #funny #humor #funny

I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #humor #funny

Agatha and I rode off towards the sunset together. On a unicycle. Two bodies, one wheel, one seat, one love. And tomorrow Agatha’s clone and I will ride off towards the sunrise together. On a bicycle. Two bodies, two wheels, one seat, two loves, one chance to make our lives really ours, despite being a derivative. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #love #love