#clone

At my last birthday party I had fun and really let myself go. Literally. I opened the cages where I keep my clones and I let myself go, all 333 versions of myself. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#absurdity #birthday #clones #change

A mafia don could snap his fingers and somebody would snap my neck. But when I snap my fingers, people start dancing. Or at least my clones would.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dancing #family #fingers #mafia #people

I wouldn’t even be the “world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #planet #population #sexy

Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #funny

Aside from murder alibis and kinky sex, what good are clones? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #kinky-sex #murder #funny

You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #life #funny

Promiscuous clone-love is the only way to realize the maxim, ‘love your neighbor as yourself. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #humor #love #funny

Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you, and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%.” This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#jealous #jealousy #majority #marriage #share

In a brave and noble way, I want to sacrifice my life one day so that two of my clones can live. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clone #funny #noble #sacrifice #funny

I made myself an “I Love Jennifer” jacket out of my old “I Love Jenn” jacket. Two girls, one continuous love. The I Love Jennifer is a little off-center, but then so am I. Better than being self-centered, as my clone would probably say. 
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— Jarod Kintz

#clone #clothing #commitment #devotion #i-love-jenn