#ck | Page 6 of 24973

This is sams phone" there was a long,heavy pause, and then: "oh." Another pause. "Youre the girl, arent you? The girl who was in my house?" I tried to think of what i might gain by denying it and drew a blank "yes" do you have a name?" do you?" he gave a short laugh that was completely without humor but not unpleasent. "I think i might like you. Im Beck. ↗

— Maggie Stiefvater

#grace #humor

Do you find this...distracting? ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#finnick #humor #humor

It turns out, Holder doesn’t have an issue with Mormons at all. He just has an issue with assholes. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#colleen-hoover #dean-holder #funny #hopeless #sky-and-holder

I bet she likes it hard, from behind, probably likes to get spanked too. I mean, just look at her, she has a serious come-fuck-me-face. ↗

— Ida Løkås

#fuck #funny #humor #sex #slut

A blanket can be a statement—a generalization and truism covering a multitude of categories, like corruption, ineptitude, ignorance, arrogance, greed, and sloth—which would all fall under the blanket of “Politics.”  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A blanket and a brick could be put in a ring and paid to fight. Compared to MMA, it would be boring. But compared to boxing, it would be downright thrilling.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A brick could be affixed to each end of an axle, for an example of transportation in a pre-wheel society.   ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

A brick is to a blanket, as the moon is to Sun Tzu. Fear my fearlessness!  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable ↗

— Emma Goldrick

#funny #goldrick #harlequin-special-edition #hero #humor

So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself as a pessimist. ↗