#cher

Nick: How? Are you a vampire or something? What made you immortal? Acheron: Real good DNA. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #humor

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?" "Like what?" "Like hitting on you." "Ew. No, of course not. He doesn't see me that way." Michael shook his head and went back to his coffee. "What? You think he does?" "Sometimes he looks at you a little... oddly, that's all. Maybe you're right. Maybe he just wants you for your blood." "Again, Ew! What's with you this morning?" "Not enough coffee. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass #morganville-vampires

No. Don't distract me with your sexy talk. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#archer-cross #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins #sexy

He probably would've raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#dirty #elodie #hex-hall #humor #rachel-hawkins

Mr. Klamp laid down the law. No tardiness, no talking above 40 decibels, no untied shoelaces, no visible undergarments, no eating, no chewing gum, no chewing tobacco, no chewing betel nuts, no chewing coca leaves, no chewing out students (unless Mr. Klamp was doing the chewing out), no chewing out teachers (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of temper (unless ditto), no unnecessary displays of affection (no exceptions), no pets over one ounce or under one ton, and no singing, except in Bulgarian. I began to think Mr Klamp wouldn't be so bad... ↗

— Polly Shulman

#humor #rules #school #students #teachers

My grandmother was a teacher, my sister was a teacher, my daughter was a teacher and is now a superintendent in northern California, and my son-in-law is a high school principal. I am surrounded. ↗

— Loni Anderson

#california #daughter #grandmother #high #high school

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person (on Margaret Thatcher) ↗

— Frankie Boyle

#devil #funeral #hell #margaret-thatcher #politics

Are we all living like this? Two lives, the ideal outer life and the inner imaginative life where we keep our secrets? ↗

— Jeanette Winterson

#jeanette-winterson #reality #sexing-the-cherry #imagination

Imagine the uproar if the Federal government tried to make everyone wear a radio transmitter around their neck so we can keep track of their movements. But people happily carry their cell phones in their purses and pockets. ↗

— Lee Child

#jack-reacher #imagination

I swear to God the woman sang the whole song, to my face. It was just so awkward, and every time I stood next to her she started singing it again. I thought how that would be like me going up to Britney and singing the whole of 'Baby One More Time' in her face. Can you imagine how weird that would be? ↗

— Cheryl Cole

#cheryl #cheryl-cole #nicole-scherzinger #the-x-factor #imagination