#ch

When we did eventually get to the party - me walking next to Dad's Volvo driving at five miles an hour - I had a horrible time. Everyone laughed at first but then more or less ignored me. In a mood of defiant stuffed oliveness I did have a dance by myself but things kept crashing to the floor around me. The host asked if I would sit down. I had a go at that but it was useless. In the end I was at the gate for about an hour before Dad arrived. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#humor #humour #stuffed-oliveness #humor

there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both. ↗

— Tina Fey

#dan-aykroyd #dana-carvey #darrell-hammond #humor #sarah-palin

Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice. ↗

— Nora Roberts

#common #deal #delight #enrich #great

I wish there existed philosophical delivery stations, where a person could call up and order an answer to such questions as, “Does life have meaning, and what’s the meaning of meaning?” Then a delivery guy with a thick German mustache would show up at your door within thirty minutes with an answer. And you could order a large two-topping answer for only 9.99, plus tip. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#german #humor #meaning #mustache #philosophy

[I] don't think I was trying to kill myself. I just wanted to hurt, and understand exactly whay I was hurting. This made sense: you cut, you felt pain, period. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#humor #life #humor

So the captain, the first officer and the ship's doctor and sometimes the engineer all beam down to a planet. Together." "The entire complement of the senior officers?" Billy nodded "And who has the command of the ship?" "I don't know. Junior officers I guess." "If they worked for me I would have them court-martialed. That sounds like a dereliction of duty." "I know. I know. I always thought it odd myself. But that's not the point." "What is the point?" "They're usually accompanied by a guy in the red shirt. Always a crew member you've never seen before. And as soon as you see the shirt, you know he's going to die. ↗

— Michael Scott

#red-shirts #star-trek #the-enchantress #humor

Charm is often despised but I can never see why. No one has it who isn't capable of genuinely liking others, at least at the actual moment of meeting and speaking. Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false. ↗

— P.D. James

#false #genuine #humor #humour #theo

If you don't have any feelings for Will Darcy, why are you blushing and fixing your hair? ↗

— Elizabeth Eulberg

#darcy #humorous #lizzie #humor

Ironic, isn’t it?” Shawn said. “It’s not ironic at all,” Gus said. “Dude, it’s so like a black fly in your chardonnay.” “How many times do I have to tell you that’s not ironic, either?” “Rain on your wedding day?” “‘Irony’ is the use of words to convey a meaning that’s opposite to their literal meaning,” Gus said. “That stupid song came out fourteen years ago, and we still have this exact conversation at least once a week.” “Yeah,” Shawn said. “Ironic, isn’t it? ↗

— William Rabkin

#humor #irony #pysch #shawn-spencer #humor

Hi there," squeaked a precocious little voice, "you are speaking to Chloe Fusakawa, and I have just learned how to answer the phone. ↗

— Gabrielle Zevin

#kids #little-kids #technology #humor