#bob

You're supposed to be a spirit of intellect. I don't understand why you're obsessed with sex." Bob's voice got defensive. "It's an academic interest, Harry." "Oh yeah? Well maybe I don't think it's fair to let your academia go peeping in other people's houses." "Wait a minute. My academia doesn't just peep -" I held up a hand. "Save it. I don't want to hear it." He grunted. "You're trivializing what getting out for a bit means to me, Harry. You're insulting my masculinity." "Bob," I said, "you're a skull . You don't have any masculinity to insult." "Oh yeah?" Bob challenged me. "Pot kettle black, Harry! Have you gotten a date yet? Huh? Most men have something better to do in the middle of the night than play with their chemistry sets. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#bob #funny #dating

Who’s Beth?” Keri asked. “The bartender at your wedding.” “Oh, that’s right. How could I forget when my husband almost got thrown out of our own reception for trying to hire her like a hooker or something.” “What’s a hooker?” Bobby asked. Keri’s island tan flushed pink. “Oops.” “You put it on the end of a fishing pole, dummy,” Brian explained. Bobby frowned. “Uncle Joe tried to hire a worm? ↗

— Shannon Stacey

#humor #keri #kevin-kowalski #kowalski #family

I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fear #funny #palindromes #funny

We have now left Reason and Sanity Junction. Next stop, Looneyville. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#harry-dresden #humor #insanity #humor

All I can be is me- whoever that is. ↗

— Bob Dylan

#inspirational #inspirational

You can never be wise and be in love at the same time. ↗

— Bob Dylan

#love #love

One trouble with being efficient is that it makes everybody hate you so. ↗

— Bob Edwards

#efficiency #hate #jealousy #jealousy

The wastes of snow on the hill were ghostly in the moonlight. The stars were piercingly bright. ↗

— Maud Hart Lovelace

#hills #moonlight #nature #snow #stars

You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me. ↗

— Bob Marley

#famous #love #marely #love

Where have you been?" I stepped into my apartment and met Uncle Bob's glare with one of my own. "Out trying to pass myself off as a movie producer to get hot guys to sleep with me. Where have you been? ↗

— Darynda Jones

#uncle-bob #movies